My 39th birthday was about two weeks ago, this was the worst birthday ever. I was all by myself, I spent it with no one. No dinner, drinks, visits to just talk and celebrate my day. I missed my friends and family from home so much. They never would have let me be alone. This is the day to celebrate me. Yes, I received phone calls, text messages, Facebook and Instagram birthday wishes. But to be alone and long for someone to think you are special enough in there life to show you the appreciation. I did stop by my friend from home to pick up a gift from him. It really touched my heart that he remembered something I said during a recent conversation. I am so grateful for him. He comes through when I least expect it.

That small token made my day better and to dry my eyes and realize everyone doesn’t view birthdays as you do or have become accustomed to. The next day I woke up and decided not to wallow in my self pity about my birthday celebration and being unemployed. I am transitioning into a new phase of my life and the  more doubt I have the longer my blessing will be manifested. I can’t doubt my God and the goodness that he is doing in life.

My eyes are open to the love and support that I have here in New York. God knows what you need when you need it. The remaining week I received phone calls, text messages and friends here in NY expressing how they admire, appreciate and what I mean to them. I had a bowling party and was showered with love and appreciation. I connected to some that I haven’t seen often but they mean a lot to me and it feels great to know that the appreciation is reciprocated. 

After much internalization, were my feeling about something I am accustomed to or was it the growth of myself and expectation of others. I can only continue to be true to myself and be as kind and generous to others as always. It is making a difference even though it isn’t always stated. I ♥ my NY support system and friends.