Encourage Myself

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I know in my last post I was very open and honest in my venting about not finding a job and going back to Detroit. I have cried out to God several times and cried in front of people that hardly know me. Once I cried so hard and so long that I cried myself to sleep and awaken with sore, red and puffy eyes.  In this purging I have gained a renewed spirit. I have begun to encourage myself. Gospel and praise and worship music is the TRUTH. That music always brings me back to positivity, hope and the strength to hold on another day.

For me to encourage myself, I began to say positive things to myself whenever a negative thought comes to mind. I will stop mid thought and say a prayer or an affirmation. I often receive rejection emails that relay a company have chosen to move forward with other candidates. I used to get mad and wonder why I wasn’t given the chance to interview. I would become furious for the positions that I have tailored a cover letter with the specifics of the job requirements and my experience that matches. I have begun to say that position or company was not meant for me. No matter how perfect I seemed to be able to perform on that job God is saving me from something so I continue to wait. I have also begun to screen some of the jobs that I am applying for so I won’t get those positions that want me to sale door to door. I will also make sure that a company will repeat the jobs name and a brief description of their company either through email or over the phone so I won’t waste my time. I have begun having interviews that are more aligned to a career or job that I am willing to perform. I have had 2 interviews with that direct marketing firm. I was very direct to say that this is not the position I applied for. In both cases, I applied for a customer service position. With the job description in hand, I highlighted how their listed position was very different from the position they were describing to me. I leave out not being upset anymore. I thank God for the experiences.

Every day, I have a choice as if I am going to let my current situation defeat me or I going to be thankful for the little I have. True, I don’t have a job but I do have my sanity, health, food, home, electricity, cable, and car, love, family and friends that support me. If I have to return to Detroit, I am no longer sadden by it. My blessing may be in Detroit. I remember having said that I never wanted to live in NYC now look at me not wanting to leave just yet. I am becoming that much stronger in my faith, mind and spiritual endurance. I am so thankful to not be where I was. I could be teaching still and on the brink of a nervous breakdown all for financial stability. Even with little money I am so much more at peace with my life. I am just ready to begin my new career path. My birthday is in two days, I wasn’t excited about it because of what I didn’t have. Now I am content with just being happy in the meantime, to see another year, to fight another day. Thankful for transitioningtiffany. My blog helps me to decompress a lot of things. Readers thank you for sharing in this transition.

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It’s Getting Real

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As excited as I am to embark on being an event planner, it is much harder to find work. Most of the companies that called me in for an interview was falsely advertised as an event planner but they really wants you to stand outside the store and persuade people to sign up for something. I am looking for an opportunity but I will not stand outside the grocery store, DMV or any place as such to beg people to sign up for a wireless phone, cable service, or to win a trip. You only get paid off of how many people signed up. I am not a salesperson. Ugh it is so hard, so I decided to look for internships. They told me I need to volunteer. Now it is the waiting period of an organization to contact me about volunteering. It is exhausting. All I want is a chance!! In the meantime, I am looking for work in other fields. I am not ready to return to Detroit.
Also it is aggravating when I talk to people the first question asked is “Do you find a job yet?” Then the next remark is “You should just go back to teaching or subbing?” I could scream!!! No, I do not or will I go back to teaching. That negates Gods word on telling me it was time to quit. I won’t go back and that I know. Even though I don’t have a job and it is hard. I won’t go back to a life where I was suffocating. It is a job looking for a job. I can spend 8 or more hours a day looking for work. The internet never shuts off. I have many sleepless nights. I keep telling myself they don’t have the faith I have. It is so hard to not curse them out for two reasons. One, they are just concerned and trying to help. Two, they don’t know that is the first question everyone ask. Seriously, chill on asking, once I get a position or my circumstance changes I will let everyone know.
I am not ready to leave New York yet. I don’t feel like my assignment here is complete. I felt it in my soul when I left Detroit. I left a clean slate. Here, I have people who depend on me in ways that I can’t explain. If I go back to Detroit, I will be an evil Bitch and anti-social. I love my new life that I gained since quitting and my apartment is so perfect for me. I love the location, size, price, amenities, landlord and neighbors. At this point, I am running out of money, so I NEED a miracle. I have been blessed to be a lender. I am God’s child and I hold on to his promises. I think He is making room for my gifts. I have to stay optimistic.