Straddling the Fence

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When you hear straddling the fence? What do you think of? Indecisiveness, not fully believing in God, the difference between good and evil……Well for me that is the space that is surrounding me. I am not straddling the fence but others around me are. It is a tough place to be in when you have little support or belief in your dreams. I have people who ride with me through thick and thin until I decided to quit my career. Yes, I understand that I should have continued to teach until I found what I wanted to do next. I should have waited until I completed class, got the certification and began volunteering. Yeah some of it I wish had happened sooner but it didn’t so I keep it pushing being glad that it happened.

I am used to people who believe you are supposed to have a job or career at the same place until retirement. Even if you get fired or laid off you find another position in that same career. It is hard to grasp the concept of trying something totally different than what you are conditioned to doing or seeing. I never wanted to be a teacher for more than 10 years and that was pushing it. I lasted 8 years longer than I wanted. 

I have watch all of these new unheard of, unorthodox career span out of this new generation. I’m not saying this never happened before but people building career and exploring unheard of possibilities. Like Facebook, twitter, Instagram, twitter, YouTube and so on. Someone or a small group came up with this innovation that we use every day. We see people who build all kinds of careers from making videos on YouTube. I don’t want anything like that I just want to put on events, major events with an audio visual team, staging, backdrops, table settings, chair covers, oh and a set budget. I have a vision of the type of event I want to conduct. I want the training on how to make sure it is on point logistically as well as aesthetically. I want the months of preparation to pull off the client’s vision. I am a Pisces so I am a natural dreamer. As a child, I used to day dream about different events in my life such as a surprise party, honors award ceremony, wedding proposal (not too much of a wedding unless it’s on a beach) 😉 that morphed into working backstage on the VS show, Black Girls Rock, car shows such as the Auto shows, educational programs like Steve Harvey mentoring, and corporate holiday parties, product launches and things of that nature.

With saying all of that I feel like I am living in a world where I am misunderstood for my dream and passion to become an event planner. I am not one who can be put in a box. I am a free spirit and creative person without the normal creative gene as painting, singing, dancing and things of that nature. I may be broke financially but this freedom feels better that suffocating in the classroom. I don’t regret quitting because I consulted with God and just waiting on His next move in my life. As I have discussed with Him before, I picked teaching and was left miserable and exhausted, so my next career will be His choosing in His timing. 🙂

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It’s Getting Real

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As excited as I am to embark on being an event planner, it is much harder to find work. Most of the companies that called me in for an interview was falsely advertised as an event planner but they really wants you to stand outside the store and persuade people to sign up for something. I am looking for an opportunity but I will not stand outside the grocery store, DMV or any place as such to beg people to sign up for a wireless phone, cable service, or to win a trip. You only get paid off of how many people signed up. I am not a salesperson. Ugh it is so hard, so I decided to look for internships. They told me I need to volunteer. Now it is the waiting period of an organization to contact me about volunteering. It is exhausting. All I want is a chance!! In the meantime, I am looking for work in other fields. I am not ready to return to Detroit.
Also it is aggravating when I talk to people the first question asked is “Do you find a job yet?” Then the next remark is “You should just go back to teaching or subbing?” I could scream!!! No, I do not or will I go back to teaching. That negates Gods word on telling me it was time to quit. I won’t go back and that I know. Even though I don’t have a job and it is hard. I won’t go back to a life where I was suffocating. It is a job looking for a job. I can spend 8 or more hours a day looking for work. The internet never shuts off. I have many sleepless nights. I keep telling myself they don’t have the faith I have. It is so hard to not curse them out for two reasons. One, they are just concerned and trying to help. Two, they don’t know that is the first question everyone ask. Seriously, chill on asking, once I get a position or my circumstance changes I will let everyone know.
I am not ready to leave New York yet. I don’t feel like my assignment here is complete. I felt it in my soul when I left Detroit. I left a clean slate. Here, I have people who depend on me in ways that I can’t explain. If I go back to Detroit, I will be an evil Bitch and anti-social. I love my new life that I gained since quitting and my apartment is so perfect for me. I love the location, size, price, amenities, landlord and neighbors. At this point, I am running out of money, so I NEED a miracle. I have been blessed to be a lender. I am God’s child and I hold on to his promises. I think He is making room for my gifts. I have to stay optimistic.