It’s Getting Real

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As excited as I am to embark on being an event planner, it is much harder to find work. Most of the companies that called me in for an interview was falsely advertised as an event planner but they really wants you to stand outside the store and persuade people to sign up for something. I am looking for an opportunity but I will not stand outside the grocery store, DMV or any place as such to beg people to sign up for a wireless phone, cable service, or to win a trip. You only get paid off of how many people signed up. I am not a salesperson. Ugh it is so hard, so I decided to look for internships. They told me I need to volunteer. Now it is the waiting period of an organization to contact me about volunteering. It is exhausting. All I want is a chance!! In the meantime, I am looking for work in other fields. I am not ready to return to Detroit.
Also it is aggravating when I talk to people the first question asked is “Do you find a job yet?” Then the next remark is “You should just go back to teaching or subbing?” I could scream!!! No, I do not or will I go back to teaching. That negates Gods word on telling me it was time to quit. I won’t go back and that I know. Even though I don’t have a job and it is hard. I won’t go back to a life where I was suffocating. It is a job looking for a job. I can spend 8 or more hours a day looking for work. The internet never shuts off. I have many sleepless nights. I keep telling myself they don’t have the faith I have. It is so hard to not curse them out for two reasons. One, they are just concerned and trying to help. Two, they don’t know that is the first question everyone ask. Seriously, chill on asking, once I get a position or my circumstance changes I will let everyone know.
I am not ready to leave New York yet. I don’t feel like my assignment here is complete. I felt it in my soul when I left Detroit. I left a clean slate. Here, I have people who depend on me in ways that I can’t explain. If I go back to Detroit, I will be an evil Bitch and anti-social. I love my new life that I gained since quitting and my apartment is so perfect for me. I love the location, size, price, amenities, landlord and neighbors. At this point, I am running out of money, so I NEED a miracle. I have been blessed to be a lender. I am God’s child and I hold on to his promises. I think He is making room for my gifts. I have to stay optimistic.

Stepping Out Of My Comfort Zone

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Sometimes you have to do things that will get you out of your comfort zone to stretch you and make you grow. I did this last Friday. I had a friend who I met in July who in coincidentally quit her career as a teacher also. We began conversing about the direction our lives were heading. Well we kept in touch from time to time just to check on one others progress. Anyway, she called to invite me to a networking event. I was nervous and she told me why she thought of me going. I was nervous and excited. We went and it was for Black Entrepreneurs’. It was a rainy day and not many people came out but it was so cool to see all these young black people talking about starting their business. Somehow, I ended up discussing how I have my own blog. So with that I was advised to get some business cards and advice to start getting a revenue from blogging.
I came away from the few hours spent with a new support system of some amazing individuals. I was enlightened and given some nuggets of wisdom. There were people from different boroughs of NYC with some innovative business. I met some from financial, event planning, storytelling and sporting like belly dancing and archery. A couple of them were heavy into a conversation about growing their business financially to be secure as far as taxed, owning a building or space, investing and so much more. I was just taking it all in and admiring the way the conversation was so peaceful, uplifting, supportive and engaging. I was in awe by the dynamics. One lady that struck me is the storyteller. She goes to barbershops and performs. I plan to go to her next event in early November.
So leaving my career is not the end for me it is a new beginning that takes courage and faith to believe in myself. I have met people who have met me one time that has more belief in myself and dreams than family and friends real talk. Well I also realized that my dream isn’t for the small minded. Yes it’s not defined as one thing and seems to be all over the place but the God I serve will either narrow it down to one or I can fulfill them all. Stepping out of my comfort zone was totally worth it. You should try it.
Oh and before I close out here are the websites of some of the entrepreneurs’.
http://www.barbershopstories.com    storyteller
http://www.danceoshundance.com   belly dancer
http://www.natashangreen.com   archery

Soul Sick

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Have you ever went through like thinking whats the point? Have you ever felt as if life was happening and you weren’t apart of it?Have you ever felt like you needed to get away forever? Have you ever felt like you couldn’t breathe? Have you ever had thoughts of how you made it through the day or how you were going to make it through the next day or task? Have you ever thought this can’t be my life, it has to be more to life than this?

My soul was sick, it was so sick I cried myself to sleep plenty of nights. I hated going to work, just the thought of getting up going into the building, standing in front of the students, admin making you feel like your all is never good enough, or speaking to you as if you owe them something. I was so sick. Most times I felt like I was in a play because everything became fake. My emotions, reactions, speech, all of it. I should have been rewarded an Academy Award for my performance. I felt like I was suffocating. I was my true self out of the building with my friends. I prayed daily for a change, in me or my career, or my mind frame.

Teaching is what people know me as. I’m more than that. I never wanted to retire from it let alone do it for over 10 years. This was supposed to be my starter career.  I know I was great at it but I longed for more. I felt it in my spirit that my life was a fraud. I would talk to my closes friends and family and almost no one understood the inner turmoil I was facing. I stopped discussing it because it was like talking to a brick wall. I prayed daily about my situation because God knows all. He told me in February that it was time for me to quit. He kept revealing it to me in my dreams. I had so many different dreams about quitting. I would wake up like seriously. So at the end of the school year I was comfortable with my decision to quit. At this point,I don’t care what others think. My soul was so sick. I needed to heal and teaching was a major source of the illness.

Each day since I have been having super awesome days, feel so much better, thinking what does today have in store for me. I feel so alive inside. I haven’t landed a job which is cool because I refuse to go into another situation that make me ill again. I sit up in the morning and talk to God. His will is the only way. So now I an idea that has just blown my mind. I’m still having a hard time understanding it. It was a thought that I came up with about 6 years ago but was just playing around with the idea in a conversation with a friends husband. I can’y get it off my mind. I dream about it. So I am moving forward with the idea. I have always heard the saying ” If your dream don’t scare you, they  aren’t big enough”. I believe it now. I’m ready to live my dream.

My Soul is Healed. 😉

Running Woman

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This fall I decided to do something for me. I gave my first year in NYC to work, now I want to do something for me. So I always wanted to live in the suburbs and take a morning run through the neighborhood. So I met this guy, I was telling that I was going to focus on myself and do something I always wanted to do which is run. Running is so scary to get into but I was ready for the challenge. My friend was very supportive to listen to my hopes and fears. Well my friend was on a running team until he was injured recently. So he advised me to get a great pair of running shoes and sports bra. So that weekend I had a physical appointment, afterwards I went to the mall and bought two pair of sneakers and a sports bra. If you know me, I just can’t get any sports bra, I need something to hold me down and not hurt or bounce all over the place. So I headed to Nordstrom’s and found the perfect bra. I was set. I downloaded the app couch to 5K. I walked the park to map my route,

The next morning, I began my first run. I was excited and it was fun. I also made sure I was eating more often because working out you need your fuel. I never ate bad just not enough. I went to the doctor for my results.  I was informed that my blood pressure and blood sugar was Very high. I was shocked but optimistic towards the results. I was determined to combat high blood pressure and type 2 diabetes. So I ate more vegetables and ran three days a week for the 9 weeks of couch to 5K dropped 20lbs and diabetes. So no more medicine, I astonished my physician and we still can’t figure out how to lower my blood pressure. I still battle that but it is down a lot and I don’t use salt on any of my food. I am determined to not use any medicine. I still love to run and try to run 3 days a week whether it’s on the treadmill or track. I love the track, the air is fresh and the scenery changes.